Simple Truth: Hard Isn't Easy

In conversation a few weeks ago with some dear friends, I was rambling on about our latest challenges with our foster son, J.  Life had been taxing around our house with 5 kids under 8, little sleep and major behavioral issues with J. We were battling wills and time outs sometimes lasted close to an hour.
Out of my mouth rolled this statement: "Hard is just...it's just not easy." We all chuckled at how elementary that sounded. But there wasn't another word that fit at that moment.

Hard is just, well, it's just hard.

On a weekly basis, I hear from folks that they could never do foster care because ___________. The top phrase that fills in the blank:
I would just never be able to give them back.  It would be too hard.
my response: Yes, you would. You have to give them back or you go to jail. 

I don't normally respond with such sarcasm, but the truth is, YES. IT's HARD! if it were easy, there wouldn't be almost 700 kids in the state of Florida waiting for a mom and dad. We don't often choose hard in this life. We choose comfort, ease and familiarity. But the things worth doing here will most likely carry us away from convenience.

So our family has decided to choose hard.

Hard means we spend less time with our biological children. it means less sleep and more noise. it means a much messier house!!! it means hours disciplining a teaching someone else's child. it means rearranging carseats often. it means lots of laundry and trips to the grocery store. hard is using a WIC check. it means feeling like others don't get it. because they just don't. Hard means being woken up in the middle of the night by a 1 am phone call from a social worker asking you to get out of your warm bed and take in a little girl that's been abandoned. It means less time with friends and more time at home. It means court appearances, psychological evaluations, OT, PT, speech therapy, visitations to birth parents and a complete invasion into your home by social workers and home inspectors. it means saying goodbye. forever.

and here's where it gets beautiful...

Hard also means holding an abandoned toddler who smells like urine at 2 am while you sing praise songs to a faithful God. it means saying good morning to bright eyes that hold such potential for hope. it means watching a neglected baby learn to roll over for the first time at 14-months old. its watching as your kids erupt in applause when your foster daughter with feeding issues eats a bite of broccoli for the first time and uses her fork!!!  hard is seeing a birth mom sob every week when she says goodbye to her baby and watching her light up when she is reunited.

so when you say to me, I could never do what you do...its too hard, I know what you mean. really. I do. But I know what you don't know...and probably never will. Hard isn't easy, but its beautiful.